Who ever said love was simple? Taking a chance on love can be complicated and even stressful. But is being in love making you anxious? Check out these telltale signs to find out.
You have doubts
Doubt is a constant companion, and it keeps you awake at night. You rehash everything you’ve said and done, asking whether it was the right move. Could you have done something differently? And not knowing is eating away at you.
You’re counting the days![You’re counting the days]()
You aren’t living in the moment: you count the days, hoping to outlast your longest relationship. You ask yourself when your relationship will—finally—be serious.
You imagine the worst
Despite your best hopes, you live in fear that something out of your control will ruin your love connection. You conjure up worst-case scenarios in your mind that keep you from enjoying what you have right now. Yet another sign that you’re anxious in love!
You want to know everything![You want to know everything]()
You skip steps. Desperate to forge a strong bond, you want to know everything about your love interest from the very first date. You want all their “life before you” details, so you comb through their online lives (searching Facebook, Google and every other social media site you can!) to get the full story.
You question yourself
You evaluate the possible consequences of every little move. You stifle your spontaneous side, thwarting any potential surprises; surprises that are an essential part of an exciting relationship.
You question your partner![You question your partner]()
Sometimes you play detective with your partner. You ask too many questions. You may not notice it, but your constant questioning makes your partner uncomfortable, even exasperated. Let them open up in their own time; searching for problems only shows your partner how insecure you are.
You’re glued to your phone
You NEVER put down your phone. You cling to it like a life raft. Why? You can’t bear to miss a call or a text from your guy. You wouldn’t be able to handle it.
You want to control everything![20 signs that you’re anxious in love]()
Everything you do is planned, orchestrated, organized. There’s no room for spontaneity. You calculate every move and always want to be in charge. This is a terrible habit that only confirms your anxiety, and makes you come across as rigid and cold. Relax, just a little bit!
You look too far ahead
You go overboard without even realizing it. You can’t resist! You imagine a life with your partner five years down the road, when you’ve barely been together for a month. Your mind is choosing baby names, but you haven’t met his family yet. Your fantasies are putting unnecessary pressure on your partner and creating huge expectations for yourself.
You make mistakes![You make mistakes]()
Stress only increases your gaffes. You’re clumsy, you falter, etc. Even if your partner doesn’t notice, your screw-ups are making you nuts. It may not be a big deal, but you tend to blow things out of proportion.
You take up too little space
You are so worried about displeasing your man that you give up all your space in the relationship. You let him pick the movie, decide where to eat and who to hang out with. You hope that giving him so much space, he will love you more. You’re wrong!
You do too much![Cappadocia, Turkey]()
The flip side of being afraid of displeasing your partner and not speaking up (see previous slide) is going all out to please your love. You tend to go overboard to make a good impression. Your boyfriend has never been on a plane and dreams of seeing the world from high in the sky? You plan an extravagant hot air balloon adventure for his birthday. It’s all…or nothing!
You change 12 times before leaving the house
Nothing escapes your critical eye! You don’t want to just look ‘good’ when you’re out with your man, you want to look smokin’! You try on a dozen outfits before finding the right look – every time you go out. How exhausting!
You’re jealous![You’re jealous]()
It’s hard to admit, but jealousy has no good side. It shows a blatant lack of confidence…in yourself! Yes, you should trust your boyfriend without second-guessing every move he makes. This is especially hard for anxious types.
You’re afraid of losing everything
The prospect of breaking up haunts you day and night. You don’t want to go through that, and would do anything to avoid it. You just can’t handle failure. Being in constant fear of losing it all makes love anything but simple. It’s so hard to live in the grip of fear!
You just aren’t yourself![Poor cognition]()
Friends say you aren’t the same. That you’ve changed. Some even say that you are playing a role, creating the illusion of the perfect couple. By trying to please your partner you’ve given up part of yourself. Beware!
You turn a blind eye
You are constantly lowering your expectations. You ignore behaviour that you used to find unacceptable. Your standards aren’t what they used to be. What’s happening? Are you so anxious in love that you’ll accept less just to avoid being single again
You’re needy![You’re needy]()
Some people might think you can’t breathe without your partner’s help. Is he your third lung? Emotional dependence is not a good quality in a relationship. You’ll never hold onto your partner by being too needy.
You’re afraid he’s going to leave you
It’s your absolute worst-case scenario, one that you live (over and over) in your mind. In fact, it’s your biggest worry, right from the beginning of your relationship. You are worried that you’ll be alone again…forever!
You scare him off![You scare him off]()
Constant angst over love causes all kinds of problems—jealousy, dependence, exaggeration, disproportion, etc.—and can even scare off your partner. No one wants a complicated relationship. Find ways to deal with your misplaced anxiety now, before it’s too late!
