Whenever the love bug bites, it tends to take away our senses and for the most part, we are left wondering in the motions of love. We think about him a lot and all we want to talk about is the sweet stuff.
We want him to shower us with all the endearment terms he can master, be goofy and have fun times. This honeymoon phase tends to go on forever but as soon as it ends, it reveals a lot about our priorities in the relationship.
Once the rose-tinted glasses fall off, it reveals other deep-seated dynamics that are crucial in a relationship. Sometimes, we tend to think that these things are obvious and shouldn’t spend time on only to find out that they can, in fact, lead to the death of a relationship.
To prevent that from happening to you, here are the conversations you must have when you are dating.
1. The Money Situation.
You will have seen him spend some money here and there but that’s not the whole story. How much does he earn? That’s a valid question you should ask. What’s his source of income?
Is he living on a paycheck or does he have other things on the side that are boosting his finances? Obviously, you will also tell him what you are up to.
Try as much as possible to study his spending habits, even if you are just out on a date. Is he a spendthrift or does he take you out only when he gets some discount code somewhere?
Another tetchy issue is to do with the bank account. Would you want to have a joint account or everyone will have their own account? Make sure you dissect the nitty-gritty details of it all.
2. Their Background.
You’ll be surprised about this but some people end up in a marriage-type of situation without really knowing where the guy comes from. As they say, one thing led to another and the next thing, you are living together.
If you are hoping that this relationship will end up in a marriage situation, then you have to talk about your background. You need to know his people, where he comes from and all that stuff that’s not amusing to talk about but necessary.
Are you able to live with the realities of his world? What about his people? Sometimes, you two can get along only for his family to be a stumbling block. You know how stubborn in-laws can be.
3. Is He Thinking About The Future?
You need to make sure that your plans complement each other. If one wants to travel the world and the other settle, then this will not work for either of you. Where do you want to live?
What do you want to achieve in your business or career lives? What will it take to achieve both? Be as detailed as possible about it so that you will be prepared for any eventuality.
4. Your Non-Negotiables.
You need to talk about the things you will not tolerate in the relationship. Make them known from the get-go so that there isn’t any room for surprises. This will also give him time to think about them and get clarity.
For example, people argue about the dynamics of cheating. What exactly is it and how does it manifest? Make sure he gets the memo.
5. How Soon Are You Getting Married?
Don’t sit and wait thinking that he is preparing for it. You might be excited about the prospect of marriage but he hasn’t thought about it. His ideal would be for you to first live together and somewhere in the future, tie the knot.
Are you willing to settle for this type of arrangement? It’s better you find out as early as you can to avoid getting in a situation where you are begging him to buy a ring or you buy the ring and ask him to fit it on your finger.
