All you feel is passion
While it’s natural to get swept up in feelings of lust at the beginning of a relationship, psychologists say that if those are the only feelings you have for your partner, chances are the relationship will fizzle out over time as you get to know who they really are.
You’re hiding parts of yourself![“I can’t imagine my life without you.”]()
If you want your relationship to last, you need to be able to express your authentic self. While it’s natural to hide parts of yourself in the beginning of a relationship, psychologist Dr. Liz Powell says that having a successful relationship in the long term requires complete authenticity.
They treat others poorly
Pay attention to how your partner treats those around you, especially people in the service industry, such as wait staff or cashiers. They’ll no doubt be sweet to you during the early days of your romance, but if they generally look down on others, chances are they’ll eventually behave that way with you too.
They communicate infrequently![They communicate infrequently]()
People want to feel like their partner prioritizes them, and if yours isn’t communicating with you as frequently as you’d like, that could be a bad sign. It’s not uncommon to have a busy schedule, but research shows that satisfaction with overall communication frequency is related to satisfaction with one’s overall relationship.
They make jokes at your expense
Couples who have been together for a while often poke fun of each other in cute and endearing ways. But if your significant other frequently makes mean jokes at your expense, hurt feelings are bound to create a wedge between you.
You don’t like their friends![You don’t like their friends]()
Your relationship might be heading for troubled waters if you find that you don’t like your partner’s friends. The people we spend our time with say a lot about our character, and if you don’t like your partner’s friends, chances are there’s something about your partner’s character you won’t end up liking either. It’s equally
They run hot and cold
If your partner is affectionate and wants to spend tons of time together one week, but becomes aloof and hard to reach the next, it could be a sign that they’re not ready to fully commit.
They don’t accept your faults![You are constantly undermined]()
The longer you’re in a relationship, the more likely you are to let your guard down and show the real you, warts and all. If your partner can’t accept your faults—and there are times when they should—your coupling likely won’t last.
You can’t accept their flaws
If you find that your partner’s flaws are starting to wear on you and you just can’t accept them (e.g., if leaving empty cups all over the apartment isn’t cute anymore), don’t expect your relationship to last, as you’ll likely be fighting over the same little things over and over.
Either one of you is hung up on an ex![Either one of you is hung up on an ex]()
If either of you is still pining for a former flame, you’re not fully present in your new relationship and will likely have a hard time moving forward. You can’t fully commit to another person when your heart belongs to another.
If your significant other is always hanging around you, it could be a sign that they are controlling or emotionally abusive. While it’s nice to spend time together, you don’t have to be with the other person every second of every day
They want to be alone all the time
Taking time apart to engage in your own interests is healthy for your relationship, but if your partner never wants to spend any time with you, that’s a red flag that perhaps they don’t value you as much as they should. A couple needs to spend time together for their relationship to flourish.
While it’s totally normal for couples to go through ups and downs in their sex life, if your sessions between the sheets are frequently disappointing, your relationship probably won’t make it. A survey conducted by OnePoll and Pure Romance found that couples frequently call it quits if they reach “4.5 bad sexual encounters.”
They lack basic hygiene![They lack basic hygiene]()
A study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that the third most common deal breaker for short-term relationships, and ninth most common for long-term partnerships, was poor hygiene.
In a new relationship, it’s expected that your partner will do little things to brighten your day—bring you flowers, send romantic texts, rub your feet, and so on. But like a garden, relationships require frequent tending once the newness wears off in order to fully bloom.
You argue
Couples are bound to disagree on certain issues, but research shows that how you argue is actually more important than what you’re arguing about as a predictor of divorce. Negative communication leads to conflict, which can lead to breaking up.
They have a wandering eye![They have a wandering eye]()
Unless you and your partner have discussed it and come to an agreement, a wandering eye can signal that your relationship isn’t solid. While it’s natural to be attracted to other people, it’s a problem if it’s distracting to your relationship.
They never offer to pay
If your significant other never reaches for the cheque or offers to cover a bill, it could signal that they aren’t too serious about your relationship. Ultimately, most people want a partner who enjoys treating them now and then too.
If your partner never takes you out, there’s a chance they’re just using you for sex, which is no way to build a happy long-term union. It’s also a potential indicator that they’re embarrassed to be seen with you or have another partner on the side.
If you want a large family but your partner doesn’t want kids, or you disagree on where to live, how to split finances, and other major issues, it’s unlikely your relationship will survive beyond the early days. In fact, relationship experts argue that shared values are often more important than shared interests.
You’re insecure![You don’t respect each other]()
It’s not a good sign if you’re constantly looking for reassurance in your relationship or are worried that your partner is going to end things. Codependency simply doesn’t mesh with a successful, healthy relationship.
While it’s only natural to feel jealous sometimes, constant jealousy can cause mistrust in the relationship, and it’s a key factor behind many negative relationship experiences and breakups.
They won’t answer personal questions
If your significant other isn’t interested in answering personal questions, it could be because they’re uncomfortable or not prepared to commit. Relationships are built on trust, and if you can’t open up to one another, that could be a red flag for your future together.
Your goals don’t align![They are intimate at least once a week]()
A relationship is a partnership, and it’s important to feel as though you’re working toward the same goals. If your paths are diverging or you don’t agree on how you want your future to look, it’s unlikely your relationship will last very long.
If your partner doesn’t want to talk about their problems or work through issues with you, the chances of having a successful long-term relationship are slim. A report published in the journal Family Process found that “withdrawal during conflict by either or both partners, thought quite common, was associated with more negativity and less positive connection in relationships.”
You don’t trust each other
Hard to build and easy to break, trust is a key component of a strong relationship. Research from the Gottman Institute shows that trust is the most important issue in a marriage and is built through small moments of intentional effort over time.
You’re not in sync spiritually![When you’re in an abusive relationship]()
While many interfaith couples navigate their relationships without any issues, some find that a difference in faith can be a deal breaker. In fact, statistically speaking, interfaith marriages fail at higher rates than same-faith marriages.
