Although most of us are well aware that our romantic relationship will change over time with our partners, beyond knowing that the honeymoon phase is encapsulated by physical desire and overwhelming infatuation with the other person that eventually settles down, we feel more in the dark regarding what comes afterward. Therefore, it is extremely valuable for every person who wants their relationship to last to understand these stages of a relationship, so as to know what to expect.
When we know what to expect, we can make informed decisions and understand our own emotions and the emotions of our significant other better. To learn about how relationships tend to evolve and change, click through this gallery.
According to relationship expert and psychologist Jacqui Manning of eHarmony, people go through similar phases in relationships.
She added that these phases shouldn’t be rushed and that each phase is vitally important.
This phase refers to everything that happens when people meet each other. It’s the initial points of contact that get the ball rolling.
What usually happens next is that there is a first date. According to an extensive survey by UpJourney, over half of the people in the US think it’s best to kiss on the first date. Some 30% thought it was best to wait until after a few dates.
According to data gathered by Pew Research in 2007, a surprising number of people in the US would wait for a lot longer to have sex, with 38% believing that premarital sex was wrong.
Timing and setting mean a lot in the initial stages of meeting and getting to know someone. For example, it would be much more likely to have a meaningful conversation at a quiet café than in a loud and busy nightclub.
The next stage of the relationship is often called experimentation, and as the name suggests, it refers to the period where both individuals are testing the waters with each other.
This stage conceptualizes the processes of feeling each other out. Small talk is everything here, and the name of the game is finding similar interests and searching for shared values.
If all goes well, and if partners begin to garner strong feelings for each other, they will likely enter the next phase, which is the most well-known and commonly portrayed in books and films.The honeymoon phase is a blissful one. During it, people are generally happy, comfortable, and will rarely argue.
Some 28% of couples would move in together within six months, 13% would get engaged, and 15% would consider getting a pet together.
On average, people take as long as three months to deactivate their dating profiles, which is a symbolic gesture of exclusivity these days.
Euphoria and connection are brought about by the nerve growth factor in the brain, referring to a neurotrophic factor causing growth, restoration, maintenance, and survival of specific target neurons.
This is what causes the couple to say things like “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me” and “what would I do without you?”
Unfortunately, this phase does naturally come to an end. The days of sitting around watching ‘Chocolat’ (2000) and idolizing the other person don’t last forever.
This is not the end of the world, but it’s very often where young people bow out of the relationship, mistaking it as a failing of the relationship rather than it evolving.
This phase will usually begin to wean out between six months to two years. This doesn’t mean that laughs and intense intimacy end completely, but there tends to be less of it than before.
The next phase generally tends to edge towards intense intimacy, the kind of intimacy which may have one partner keeping a toothbrush at the partner’s house (which happens after five months on average).
People usually say I love you after four months, and men usually say it first. Women usually take a few months more.
The next phase of a relationship is often referred to as the commitment stage and is exactly how it sounds. People decide to move in with each other or get engaged, for example.
If couples haven’t already had “the talk” by this point, they will usually have it soon. This talk, depending on the individuals, can often include a promise of commitment.
A common pitfall that couples fall into as their lives merge is that they will tend to lose their sense of self.
The bottom line is that every relationship will generally follow certain stages, which are defined by differences in how members of a romantic relationship feel and behave towards each other. We can, however, only generalize these stages, as they are not fixed. Some couples may never experience a honeymoon phase, for example.
One common example of for whom some of these stages may be different is polyamorous couples, who, by nature, don’t commit to being exclusive to one person during the commitment stage.
Keep in mind that, at the end of the day, being vulnerable is the only way that you can grow close to another person and expect them to grow close to you.
