The 33-year-old singer split from ex-husband Simon Konecki in 2019 and her divorce has inspired several songs on her new album ’30’ and admitted she was “f****** devastated” to have failed at being part of a betrothed couple.
Adele was ‘f****** devastated’ about marriage breakdown
In a new interview with Rolling Stone magazine, she said: “It made me really sad. Then having so many people that I don’t know KNOW that I didn’t make that work … it f****** devastated me.
“I was embarrassed. No one made me feel embarrassed, but you feel like didn’t do a good job.”
The ‘Easy On Me’ hitmaker noted she didn’t feel like she knew herself towards the end of the relationship, which she blames on either entering her 30s or her “Saturn return”.
She added: “I didn’t really know myself. I thought I did.
“I don’t know if it was because of my Saturn return or if it was because I was well and truly sort of heading into my thirties, but I just didn’t like who I was.”
After the split, Adele was inspired by her own work in the gym and fitness regime to help herself mentally too.
She explained: “If I can transform my strength and my body like this, surely I can do it to my emotions and to my brain and to my inner well-being.
“That was what drove me. It just coincided with all of the emotional work that I was doing with myself as a visual for it, basically.”
As she continued working on ’30’ during this period – with the lyrics set to deal with her feelings about the break-up – she also took inspiration from producer Inflo, who showed her a new way to listen to her favourite albums by the likes of Donny Hathaway, The Carpenters, Al Green and Marvin Gaye, and that those record are actually full of “wrong notes” but it is the imperfection that makes them perfect.
She added: “He was like, ‘If you really listen, this is a mess. If you really listen, people are playing the wrong notes. They’re coming in at the wrong time.
“It’s all about the energy and the atmosphere that that creates. Why would you want anyone to do another take if you’ve just got the most perfect take that there is?’ ”
Meanwhile, Adele – who is now dating sports agent Rich Paul – has reflected on how she’s never felt totally present in her previous relationships.
Admitting her time with Simon was the closest exception at the time, she said: “I think I’ve never been fully in any of my relationships.
“I always had this fear from a really young age that you’ve going to leave me anyway, so I’m going to leave or I’m not going to invest myself in anything.”
