“In the second month of this year, I found out that I was pregnant and the man that is responsible is a married man. The man happened to be my ex. We dated and later lost contact but fate reunited us. He had told me plainly that he didn’t want me to get pregnant, and was very discreet about our relationship. He often suggested we use protection whenever we made out, but I would convince him I was on my safe period or that I would take pills afterward. I have imagined having a kid for him but not as a side chick. That was when we were dating before he married.
“Now that I am pregnant, I don’t know how he would take it. I kept the pregnancy because I wanted it. But I am not financially buoyant to take care of myself and a child. He is happily married and has children. I don’t know if it is wise to tell him. I don’t want to break his home. He has been supporting me with money, but he doesn’t know that I am pregnant with his child.
“My mother didn’t know I got pregnant with a married man. I don’t stay with her; she is in another state. She is very supportive and stands by me in everything I do that makes me happy, but this one would certainly break her. I only told her that I am pregnant and I would keep it. And since I informed her about the pregnancy, I have been avoiding her. She kept asking about the man responsible for my pregnancy. Sometimes I regret my actions but it was the fear of not having a child in future that led to this. Do you think God is happy with me? Do you think it is the will of God for me to get pregnant for a married man?”
Dear Silvia, I can’t tell if it is the will of God or not. But I know your action wasn’t morally right because you knew the man was married. This singular action can destabilize the man’s home if not well managed and the child may be affected too in the long run. Again, children are beautiful gifts from God, so as much as your actions are wrong the child is without any blame or wrong. I think you should let the man know about the pregnancy; it should be a shared responsibility. You don’t have to carry the burden all alone.
