With work, family, friends, and every other obligation in our lives, we can feel like we’re being dragged in every direction, barely having time for ourselves. Sometimes, if we’re very agreeable, we’ll find ourselves agreeing to almost every social event we’re invited to (at the expense of our own goals or health). It can make us and everyone else feel a little uneasy, and it can diminish our sense of self-worth.
Saying “no” is important sometimes, and so is knowing how to say it without hurting people’s feelings. To learn more, click through this gallery.
There is no one right way to say no” It has to be considered within the context. When saying no to your boss, you may have to elaborate as to why. When saying no to an acquaintance, you may not need to.
We must understand that it isn’t entirely our fault that we are programmed this way. In many modern cultures, we respect and glorify the person who can “do it all.”
We look up to the person who can juggle having children, a steadfast career, practice yoga three nights a week, as well as cook, clean, and take care of all the domestic chores.
In a way, there is a lot to admire about this person. However, if this type of lifestyle doesn’t suit someone and they keep saying yes to every invitation without making sufficient time for themselves, their mental health can suffer.
To begin with, if you are the type of person who finds it hard to say no, or questions whether or not it is rude to say no, there are some simple approaches that you should know are not rude.
You are completely within your right to suggest another time, to give yourself time to think before you say yes or no, and not to commit because you have other priorities.
If something doesn’t feel right, and you don’t want to say yes, you don’t have to. Your intuition for these kinds of things is very important.
Understand that you can set your boundaries while also being generous. This can mean saying no when someone asks you something while offering them an alternative or help on another date.
It’s also important to note that you are responsible for setting your boundaries and nobody else.
Your responsibility, in most cases, begins and ends with you. This is to say that you are not responsible for other people’s emotions (i.e. disappointment)
Another point to keep in mind is that you cannot be helping the people around you emotionally or otherwise if you haven’t first taken care of yourself properly.
When an airplane has lost its cabin pressure, parents are instructed to take care of their oxygen mask before helping their child to fasten his or her mask.
The reason for this is that if the parent hasn’t taken care of their own first, they may fall unconscious before being able to help the child. They must take care of themselves before other people.
You’ll never be able to please everyone. If there are people who want to sever ties with you because you can’t show up for them as much as they want or need you to, let them go.
Sometimes you have to feel left out. It’s normal and it’s natural. It’s important to think things through before committing, so that we’re not just saying yes for fear of being left out.
By eliminating choice in our lives, we create opportunities in our lives to do what we want.
When we gain the ability to say no, we will also benefit by better discovering what we want in life.
There are times in life where there are bound to be more pressing issues. There will come a time where mortgages, children, and other issues mean that we won’t be able to say yes.
When we say no to things, we can sometimes open up the gates for other people to shine.
Being able to set boundaries can be considered a mindfulness practice. While we are saying yes to everything, we can get in our way of just being.
You may feel guilty saying no to people often, but this feeling will fade, and you will get better at it.
People who know how to say no are more successful in life. To be successful at anything (career, relationships, etc.), we need to make sacrifices. To make sacrifices, we need to be able to say no.
In the words of billionaire businessman and philanthropist Warren Buffett, “the difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything.”
To get on in life, to be useful in the world, and to be helpful and loving to those around us, we need to be able to make sacrifices.
To make any kind of sacrifice we need to be able to say no to the unlimited alternatives.
By not saying no to things often, we will often find ourselves spending our time doing things that we don’t want to do or that don’t align with our goals or values.
There are plenty of ways of saying no politely, such as “I’m honored but I can’t,” “Unfortunately, now is not a good time,” “Sorry, I’ve already made plans,” and so on. Remember that you’re not obliged to be specific.
