Michelle Obama opened up about her decision to skip both President Jimmy Carter’s funeral and President Donald Trump’s inauguration, explaining that these were personal choices she made for herself.
Her absence from these two high-profile events sparked speculation, including rumors of a rift in her marriage. Just last week, former President Barack Obama acknowledged feeling he was in a “deep deficit” with his wife.
“That’s the thing we as women struggle with—disappointing people,” Michelle shared during a podcast episode released Tuesday. “So much so that this year, when I made a few personal decisions, people couldn’t even imagine it was just me choosing for myself. They had to assume Barack and I were getting a divorce.”
She continued, “It couldn’t possibly be that a grown woman was simply making her own decisions, right? That’s what society does to us.”
Michelle went on to reflect more broadly: “We finally get to a point where we ask, ‘What am I doing? Who am I doing this for?’ And if it doesn’t align with the stereotype of what people expect from us, it gets labeled as negative or even damaging.”
Now 61, the former First Lady spoke candidly to host Jenna Bush Hager about entering a new chapter of life and asking herself deep questions about how she wants to spend it.
“Now’s the time for me to start asking who I truly want to be every day,” she said. “And that looks like whatever I want it to look like.”
She emphasized that she still finds time to give speeches, stay involved in causes she cares about—like girls’ education—and continue work on the Obama Presidential Center, scheduled to open in Chicago next year.
“There are things I am doing and things I’m not doing with the library,” she noted. “But what’s interesting is that when I say no, most people understand—and that’s okay with me.”
