Things You Should Do Before You Get Married

When we were in school we all had a very universal life plan. Finish school, get a job, and then get married. That plan, as sound as it sounds, came from years of socialization that teaches women not to aspire to things beyond marriage.

And while marriage is important. There are other things you need to experience as a human being especially before you enter into a commitment as serious as marriage.

Here are a few suggestions.

Attain Financial Independence

Our grandmothers did not stay in marriages for as long as they did because they were happy staying in them. They stayed there because they couldn’t own land, or any substantial property that could give them the financial independence a woman needs to stand on her own. They had to depend on their husbands for shelter and everything else that needed money including food.

The difference between you and the older generation of women is that you have rights. You have the right to vote, the right to work outside your home and the right to education.

These are the rights you need to take advantage of to be a financially independent woman who is capable of standing on her own without the help of a man.

Not that there’s anything wrong with receiving help but there is everything wrong with being completely dependent on a man. It denies you the independence to have choices that benefit you and makes you vulnerable to abuse.

Before you get married you have to make sure you are completely self-sufficient. It will give you the autonomy to leave if things ever turn out wrong.

Live Alone

Every woman needs to have the experience of living alone. You cannot leave your parent’s house and go directly to your husband’s house.

You need to have the experience of having your apartment, buying yourself things, and partying until dawn.

All these things teach you the independence you need to have to be able to be a person who can stand by herself.

Travel

Travel gives you global exposure. It is the greatest teacher there is and that is the kind of education you need before you commit to a marriage.

It will help you meet new people other than the village boys you grew up with and it will give you enough memories to last you a lifetime.

Read Feminism Theory

Marriage does not come with many benefits to the woman. It works to our disadvantage most of the time.

To understand the dynamics of marriage and how it works for a woman you have to read enough feminist theory.

Date More Than One Person 

Marrying your first boyfriend is the most romantic thing one can do but let no one lie to you. Marriage is so much more than romance. It is the death of romance so allow yourself to experience many loves before you eventually settle down with the love of your life.

Go To School

Education is the key to success for many people but for women, it is far more important as it is the key to our empowerment.

There are a lot of women in the world who get married before they get an education; that is one of the saddest things that could happen to a person.

If you have the opportunities, take advantage of them. Go to school and if you can, go to school beyond that first degree.

Establish Yourself In Your Career

Marriage comes with so many responsibilities and expectations that usually come at a cost to a woman’s career.

Many people will ask you to get married in your early twenties and that is again a very huge mistake. There are a lot of women who age reminiscing over the things they could have been had they gotten married and that should not be you.